Archive for the 'Humour' Category

Damn it, make up your minds!

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

Financial types wonder why we simple folk find the stock market confusing… Well… it’s little wonder when organisations like Kitco make confusing statements like this…

Stock Market Confusion

Hmmm… yes fellas, make up your minds. ;-)

Idiot Spammers

Monday, February 19th, 2007

Hi All…

I normally don’t post privately addressed email, and this especially goes for spam… however, I figured you’d get a kick out of this one. (I’ve broken up some of the long lines here… but otherwise, the email is 100% preserved)

Received: (qmail 9490 invoked from network); 19 Feb 2007 21:18:34 +1000
Received: from dsl217-132-169-145.bb.netvision.net.il (HELO dagdans-05n4xgp) (217.132.169.145)
by www.longlandclan.hopto.org with SMTP; 19 Feb 2007 21:18:34 +1000
Received: from 192.168.0.%RND_DIGIT (203-219-%DIGSTAT2-%STATDIG.%RND_FROM_DOMAIN
[203.219.%DIGSTAT2.%STATDIG]) by mail%SINGSTAT.%RND_FROM_DOMAIN (envelope-from
%FROM_EMAIL) (8.13.6/8.13.6)
with SMTP id %STATWORD for < %TO_EMAIL>; %CURRENT_DATE_TIME
Message-Id: < %RND_DIGIT[10].%STATWORD@mail%SINGSTAT.%RND_FROM_DOMAIN>
From: "%FROM_NAME" < %FROM_EMAIL>
%TO_CC_DEFAULT_HANDLER
Subject: %SUBJECT
Sender: "%FROM_NAME" < %FROM_EMAIL>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html
Date: %CURRENT_DATE_TIME

%MESSAGE_BODY

Yeah… I don’t think I need to add anything to that. ;-)

Two humourous slideshow presentations

Sunday, January 7th, 2007

Hi All,

I just received these two PowerPoint presentations, which have been converted to PDF for your cross-platform viewing pleasure. Note, if you plan on sending these links to anybody, please consider mirroring these files on your own webspace. Enjoy :-)

Capt. Obvious: Warning, cutlery sets contain sharp edges and implements

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

Nah… really?

We recently received this cutlery set as a Christmas present. We appreciate the gift, and will find it very useful. However, one little safety notice really stood out… Have a look at the photos below (click for large image).

Cutlery Set present Cutlery Set warning

Yep, that’s right… apparently they’re not toys for kids either. I would’ve thought this would be common sense … just like the revelation that fires were hot by a workplace health and safety task force in the UK.

Why can’t people use their brains occasionally? Yeah, you know… knife, cuts things… including little kiddies? People really amaze me sometimes. Hope you get as much amusement out of this as I did. :-)

Common Sense Ain’t So Common

Tuesday, November 7th, 2006

I just heard a beauty Captain Obvious moment on the radio a moment ago.  I know I’m guilty of stating the bleeding obvious on occasion, but this is unbelievable.

In Brisbane (this show is also broadcast to Melbourne, Sydney and Adelaide) there’s a late night talk show called “The Spoonman“.  I like listening to it, as there are often some interesting discussions and viewpoints being put forward.  Anyways… it seems one of the people behind the scenes was digging around on the computer system, and dug up, this sound byte.

I know some people lack a little bit in the common sense department, but damn… where has this reporter been in the last few thousand years?!

Wakey wakey….

Wednesday, October 18th, 2006

Many of you have probably seen this photo before, but I thought it rather amusing. Cheers to pekkahead on the Atomic MPC Forums for the discovery.

Wakey wakey...

The only question in our minds… Does the polar bear represent Microsoft?

Pluto for Sale on eBay

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

Yep… you heard right… someone on eBay is selling Pluto.

Quick… dive in now… this is your one in a lifetime opportunity to claim your own planet. ;-)

After a recent clean up of our solar system the IAU has realized we no longer need Pluto. We have 1 planet, Pluto for sale. This icy planet would look great on any mantel piece, or a perfect center piece for any room, a great conversation starter.

Look out for Drop Bears

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

Ohh yes… Bewarned of the danger that is the drop bear, if you ever decide to go camping in Australia’s wilderness.

The following, is a discussion from #gentoo-dev where the topic came up.

23:10 < @mark_alec> christel: the IRC meeting times look good to me, as I shall
be on school holidays during that time, so provided I don't
go camping I will definately be turning up
23:10 < @christel> excellent mark_alec
23:10 < @christel> <3
23:10 < @beu> CAMPING
23:10 < @mark_alec> YES
23:10 < @mark_alec> in the bush with kangaroos
23:10 < @beu> mmmbush
23:11 < @christel> haha
23:11 < @christel> kangaroos :D
23:11 < @mark_alec> they taste good ya know, very red and very low in fat
23:11 < @beu> :o
23:11  * beu prefers sheeps
23:11 < @christel> i r go shower
23:11 < @mark_alec> speak english good u
23:11 < @Redhatter-O2> Emu tastes good too
23:11 < @mark_alec> haven't ever had emu
23:11 < @Redhatter-O2> But it's bloody fast food.
23:12 < @phreak``> Redhatter-O2: ostrich too :-P
23:12 < @beu> astral projection goes well with sheep
23:12 < @mark_alec> i had crocodile once, but it was in a sausage so i couldn't
tell what it was like
23:12 < @mark_alec> astral projection++
23:12 < @beu> hah
23:12 < @Redhatter-O2> (Think, the kyote running after the road runner, knife
and fork in hand)
23:12 < @phreak``> beu: you like sheep pretty much eh ? :P
23:12  * beu nods :D
23:12 < @phreak``> Redhatter-O2: heh
23:13 < @Redhatter-O2> Only thing about camping in the bush... you've gotta
watch out for the bloody drop bears.
23:13 < @mark_alec> lol
23:14  * mark_alec remembers ad on TV for that
23:14 < @Redhatter-O2> You'll set your tent up, camp nice and comfortable...
then a flaming bear will drop out of the tree, crush your
tent... then chase you out of the campsite.
23:14 < @mark_alec> how many chicks have you picked up with that story?
23:14 < @beu> haha
23:15 < @Redhatter-O2> It's true!
23:16  * mark_alec has rescued many a damsel in distress from the bears
23:18 < @Redhatter-O2> I've seen many near misses on my camping trips.
23:18 < @Redhatter-O2> Never managed to get a shot of one though... they're
quite camera shy.
23:19 < @ian> riiiight
23:19 < @ian> :)
23:20 < @Redhatter-O2> ian: You don't believe me?
23:20 < @mark_alec> http://www.bloggerheads.com/images/dropbear.jpg
23:20 < @mark_alec> ^ that is what i save people camping from
23:22 < @ian> silly bears
23:22 < @phreak``> mark_alec: err, that beast has some pretty longish teeth
23:22 < @Redhatter-O2> phreak``: They're nasty... you don't want to cross one.
23:23 < @phreak``> Redhatter-O2: imagined that .. looks like a crossing between
tiger and koala
23:25 < @mark_alec> good night, double maths in the morning at school tomorrow
23:25 < @antarus> "A drop bear (or dropbear) is a fictitious Australian
marsupial supposedly related to the koala"
23:26 < @mark_alec> s/fictitious/real
23:26 < @lu_zero> dropbear?
23:26 < @lu_zero> as in userfriendly?
23:26 < @mark_alec> scroll up, they are very scary
23:27 < @antarus> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoop_snake
23:27 < @lu_zero> it's just a koala smiling
23:31 < @Redhatter-O2> antarus: Don't believe everything Wikipedia says.
23:35 < @antarus> Redhatter-O2: heh ;) 

I’ll see if I can dig up the particular podcast from Spoonman’s talkback show where they’re mentioned. But they are a very real danger. Travellers bewarned.

Update: I finally got around to looking at my archives… it seems it was mentioned Tuesday the 8th of August, however, it didn’t make it into the podcast. Due to legal reasons, I don’t think I can publish the recording I have.

Spot the webpage blooper…

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

Hi all… I was doing my usual random browsing of the various forums, when I came across this thread.

Go to http://www.treasury.gov.au/documents/976/HTML/docshell.asp?URL=tax_cuts.htm and have a close look at the page.

Looks fine eh?

Try clicking on the link for the calculator they mention.

Get anywhere? I didn’t think so… here’s why:

<p>The Treasury has prepared a simple indicative
<a xhref="http://172.16.11.147/contentitem.asp?NavId=007&ContentID=976" mce_href="http://172.16.11.147/contentitem.asp?NavId=007&ContentID=976">calculator</a>

Uhh huh… yep… this government doesn’t understand RFC 1918. Most people here know that 172.16.0.0/16 isn’t accessible to anyone publically, and the network admins looking after the government infrastructure should know better. I’d suggest Bonzai and his government may wish to learn a little about TCP/IP, and/or consult with someone who does (not necessarily those who claim to). :-)

Update: It seems the URL has been fixed now… Still… it was amusing while it lasted.

When it pays not to whine…

Thursday, May 4th, 2006

Saw this on the Atomic MPC forums.

I thought it was a rather appropriate comeback. ;-) Not to mention artistic.

Exerpt from thread below.


Sturmgeist: What im saying is half the WTB threads are shit, that if the person making the thread could get off thier arse and be bothered to look for themselves they could find.

msolok: perhaps limit WTB threads somehow im not exactly sure but I’ll try think of a way it’ll never be implemented though so I may not even bother. Well, technically they ARE getting off their arses and looking. I think it’s bridge time for you.

Sturmgeist: You wanna build it for me?

msolok:

                                              ^^
              ^^      ..                                       ..
                      []                                       []
                    .:[]:_          ^^                       ,:[]:.
                  .: :[]: :-.                             ,-: :[]: :.
                .: : :[]: : :`._                       ,.': : :[]: : :.
              .: : : :[]: : : : :-._               _,-: : : : :[]: : : :.
          _..: : : : :[]: : : : : : :-._________.-: : : : : : :[]: : : : :-._
          _:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_
          !!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          ^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                      []                                       []
                      []                                       []
                      []                                       []
           ~~^-~^_~^~/  \~^-~^~_~^-~_^~-^~_^~~-^~_~^~-~_~-^~_^/  \~^-~_~^-~~-
          ~ _~~- ~^-^~-^~~- ^~_^-^~~_ -~^_ -~_-~~^- _~~_~-^_ ~^-^~~-_^-~ ~^
             ~ ^- _~~_-  ~~ _ ~  ^~  - ~~^ _ -  ^~-  ~ _  ~~^  - ~_   - ~^_~
               ~-  ^_  ~^ -  ^~ _ - ~^~ _   _~^~-  _ ~~^ - _ ~ - _ ~~^ -
                  ~^ -_ ~^^ -_ ~ _ - _ ~^~-  _~ -_   ~- _ ~^ _ -  ~ ^-
                      ~^~ - _ ^ - ~~~ _ - _ ~-^ ~ __- ~_ - ~  ~^_-
                          ~ ~- ^~ -  ~^ -  ~ ^~ - ~~  ^~ - ~


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